Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
So, this will be a short post but I figured its worth talking about. I just took a few career tests just for fun to see what it would say about myself. The first one I took was really short only 25 questions. I got results like journalist, novelist, veterinarian, and the one that made me laugh, Rabbi/priest. I sort of believed these results but, there was still a little doubt in my mind. So, I searched for a more in depth test and finally found one. This test was 78 questions long and would give you five careers that would be suitable for you. So, I decided to plug away at it, scrolling and then clicking a bubble for about 20 minutes. I Found myself stopping at the very end of the exam, hesitating to click continue. I thought about it for a minute, and the question I couldn't answer was "Why?". Why am I hesitating, it's just a simple career test. Is it the fact that its going to make me realize I shouldn't be in the major I am? Maybe, but I just couldn't answer that. So, with some doubt I managed to click continue. The 5 careers didn't surprise me they were Journalist, Novelist/poet, Historian, Artist, and photographer. What did surprise me were the five careers I would be unhappy with. They were Chemist, Mathematician, Architect, economist, and engineer. The career that I have been in school for 4 years now is one that I would be unhappy with. Engineer. I was a little shocked at that, but somewhere deep in my mind it was easy to accept. That's when I realized I just accepted the fact of being unhappy with my career. Is that even a good thing to do? So why did I find it acceptable? For the life of me I can't figure it out. The only thing I could think of was when I graduate at least I will make enough money, that will make me happy. Right? So, back to the previous question. Why did I hesitate? I think I can answer this now that I've thought it through. I've always known the answer to the "what do you want to do with your life" question. It's just I thought that being a writer, poet, journalist, or anything like that was such a dream. Something unrealistic, just a hobby to do on the side. I guess I just hesitated because there was no real reason to take the career test. That has to be it.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Does anyone know the Webster Dictionary's definition for Chivalry? Yeah, me either. If I had to guess though it would run along the lines of courtesy towards women, or the code of medieval knighthood. Either one works. The biggest question though is is chivalry dead? Most women will say that it is, but what's the mans point of view? I'll tell you what it is most of the time. Its the general things, like opening doors, or paying for a dinner and a movie. Oh look out! So I guess what you can say is that being chivalrous as a guy is having some sort of soul. In other words not having an empty black void of hatred where your heart should be. No. That's not what chivalry is. The people who know the real way to be chivalrous are the hopeless romantics. The reason why is that they thrive off of the idea of love. They dream of a day where they can make some grand romantic gesture too someone. They're the idealist, the dreamers, the imaginative. They make love look like an art form. It sounds so perfect when you describe the romantic part first, but they don't get the term hopeless for nothing. That day of your dreamed romantic gesture will never come. It will only stay a dream. Trapped in your mind slowly dissolving away and becoming a hopeless feeling. The term "dreamer" comes with a price somewhere, and this happens to be it. So what brings a person to become a hopeless romantic? Too many cliche romantic comedies, or is it seeing so many people happy when you're not? I think its the people who have been destroyed, crippled, decimate with the toils of love. I know what some people might think "I've had my heart broken I've had it the worst." Yes, that may be true, and I can't compare too your side of the story unless I'm told. But, I can tell you what I think it is. Try thinking about something that you use everyday, but could eventually live without. Lose it. Now a pet you cared for. Gone. How about a best friend? Vanished, and so on and so on exponentially increasing. Having this happen too you without ever catching a break in the game of love. Yet even after all of this for some god forsaken reason they still hold onto that glimmer of hope. That everything they do for someone will be noticed. In the end, we just want someone to care for. Someone to wish goodnight, and to roll over too in the morning. Too make you feel beautiful every fucking day.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I can honestly say I miss The Yan on nights like this. It's not the town itself or the people in it (some I miss). I miss going for a drive at 3 in the morning. Yeah, I could drive around Rochester...but it's not the same too me. People stumbling, dragged, or kicked out of bars on a Tuesday night. A drunk chick sprinting across the street while her drunk friends yell. Some pretentious dickhead burning out around a corner thinking they're bad ass (guilty). Getting a red light at an intersection with you being the only one there. I guess what I miss is driving down main street and not seeing a single soul. Every building closed up waiting for a new dawn. Not even a car parked on the side of the road. Just weaving my way through the streets of what seems like a deserted town. Driving in no particular direction or purpose. I feel disengaged. No one to judge my off pitch singing, or the dirty, wrinkled t-shirt I threw on that morning. Windows down having the cool,sharp air caress my face. The Interior lit up by the soft green light of the dash. Searching for that one nostalgic song on the radio. The one about a lost love, or a new one found. Before you know it you're on a back road doing 80 with a smile on your face. Pouring your heart out to that song that was luckily on. Forgetting every mistake you've made so far. The only thing that matters is your foot on the pedal and your hand out the window. Wishing everyday could be as care free as a drive at 3 am.